Even though it’s daunting, everyone is capable of changing their behavior. In fact, change is healthy and good for us. However, the older you get, the more difficult change can be. Humans find safety and comfort in the familiar. Learning new habits can stir up anxiety and fear. For this reason, people often give up because they don’t like the way change make them feel. In order to successfully establish a new habit, you must be open and committed to embracing a new approach and prepared to be uncomfortable.

Let’s dive deeper into the most common causes of overspending and look for ways to shift your mindset and behavior.

Financial Ignorance

Sometimes we make poor financial decisions because we don’t know any better. Essentially, we fall victim to a lack of knowledge or copy the behavior we learned from our parents. As a child, you learned about money by listening to your parents and watching how they related to money. Did your parents fight about money? Was there never enough money to go around? Was there a scarcity mindset? We can learn a lot about our personal behavior if we reflect on the messages we received about money as a child.

If you didn’t receive a financial education in school or at home, it is up to you to seek out the information. Otherwise, you risk learning the hard way by making mistakes. Financial ignorance is a lack of financial knowledge. In contrast, financial literacy is understanding the basics of personal money management. These basics include banking, budgeting, credit vs debit, debt, saving and investing. Understanding how to manage your money is a critical life skill. Struggling to pay your bills is very stressful and anxiety producing. Financial health contributes to your overall emotional wellness.

Money is Everywhere.

For better or worse, money is a permanent part of adulthood. There is no shame in needing to strengthen your financial literacy skills. Recognizing the need to educate yourself is an important step.

• First, tackle the most important topics, like banking and budgeting.
• Then, move on to credit vs debit cards and debt management.
• Once you’ve mastered those areas, you’ll be ready to learn about saving and investing.

If you typically spend more than you earn, it may take a while to conquer budgeting and credit cards. Breaking bad habits and creating new ones takes time and practice. Give yourself permission to be imperfect. You will make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean you’re not capable of shedding bad behavior. It just means you’re human. Feel your feelings, dust yourself off and try again.

Emotional Spending

Developing a healthy relationship with money is one of the most valuable gifts you can give yourself. You’d never tolerate an abusive relationship with a partner so why settle for a toxic relationship with money?! This might be the first time you considered the emotional component of your spending patterns. But, if you start paying attention, you’ll realize emotions play a part in 99% of your financial transactions.

SOS, I’m feeling anxious, mad, sad, frustrated & I might explode if I don’t get relief from these feelings NOW!

We’ve all had those moments, probably more in the past six months than at any other period in our lives. So, you hit the internet and try to ease the feelings with a new purse, kitchen gadget and throw pillows. And, that may work for a few hours or even a few days, until the pillows no longer mask the discomfort and the feelings creep back in. Emotions are the main influences behind our decisions. It’s perfectly normal to buy something because it makes you feel good. However, if you have mounting debt and these purchases keep you from living the life you desire, it’s a problem.

Here’s what I suggest when you find yourself in a store or surfing the net with a strong desire to spend money.

1. Ask yourself: is this something I truly need?
2. Check-in Emotionally
   • Is there something that’s bothering me?
   • What emotions am I feeling right now?
   • Is this purchase a distraction from an issue I need to deal with?
   • Does this purchase support my financial goals?
3. Two Day Rule
   • Wait 48 hours before buying anything that’s not essential to your existence
   • Is the desire to buy the item as strong as it was two days ago?
   • Challenge yourself to extend this waiting window until you’re able to defer a buying decision for 30 days

Ask for Help

If you’re having a difficult time curbing this habit on your own, ask for help! Share the issue with a trusted friend or family member and ask them to support your decision to change this behavior. Make yourself accountable to someone other than yourself.

Poor Self-Control

Self-control is one of the most difficult skills to master. That’s because you must change your behavior in an emotionally charged or even an addictive state. It’s hard to pass up a hit of happiness and a quick shot of endorphins. Self-control plays into varying levels of toxic, impulsive behavior, from sex addiction to compulsive shopping.

If I can feel good right now, I’ll never do it again.

1. Learn your Triggers

What emotion, person, time of day, location etc challenges your willpower to refrain from spending money? Learn your triggers and find ways to avoid situations where you could make a poor choice.

2. Ditch Credit and Use Cash

Leave your credit cards at home and just take the budgeted amount of money when you go shopping. Using cash during a shopping trip will force you to stay on task.

If you do most of your shopping online, don’t save your credit card information on your computer or on any websites. Force yourself to key in the numbers every time you buy something. Thereby, giving yourself the opportunity to reconsider and pump the breaks on a purchase.

3. Shop with a Plan

Make a list and shop with a plan. You’ll be less likely to make impulse purchases if you have a specific goal prior to beginning a shopping trip. Going shopping for the sake of something to do is never a smart choice.